ASOS Curve, Bbloggers, Beauty, Beauty bloggers, Charlotte Tilbury, Jewellery, Junarose, Make Up, Marks and Spencer, office wear, plus sized bloggers, plus sized blogging, Tatty Devine, what i wear to work

Grey Sunday

I’ve been in a bit of a bleak mood recently. Blame it on the achingly cold weather, the lack of natural sunlight or the fact that every time I look at the news, I want to curl up in the foetal position and wail, but I haven’t really felt like my best self. But, I’m a busy woman and I have important shit to do, so vacuum sealing myself inside a pillow fort for the foreseeable future isn’t really convenient. So, I did what I always do when I feel like the world is a flaming skip fire. I slapped on some eyeshadow, threw on a snuggly roll neck jumper and treated myself to a rather fancy brunch.

grey-sunday-side-view

ROLL NECK: Junarose 

TROUSERS: ASOS Curve (old)

BELT: ASOS Curve

SHOES: Marks and Spencer

NECKLACE: Tatty Devine

EARRINGS: Accessorize

Despite the vast amount of #dealz filled emails hitting my inbox, I managed to be quite restrained on Black Friday. Somehow, I managed to limit myself to only purchasing a sweatshirt, a belt and the Junarose roll neck you see here in the ASOS 20% off everything sale. Not that I needed much of an excuse to buy this roll neck mind you, it’s been sitting in my ‘saved’ items for longer than I care to admit.

grey-sunday-front-view

Like all Junarose items I’ve purchased, this roll neck is simple yet stylish. I love the soft, neutral grey colour (the exact shade of a freezing December sky) and it’s shaped really nicely. While I will never quite avoid the dreaded ‘shelf tit’ effect that larger boobed women such as myself are prone to, the cut and fit of it feel – forgive me here – flattering. While I love my body, I also feel remarkably self conscious about having very large breasts so any item of clothing which makes them look relatively proportional to the rest of my body is very welcome.

I’m wearing a ‘large’ here, mainly because I found it impossible to find an accurate size chart on Junarose or ASOS’s websites. I do wish retailers would realise that people appreciate being given accurate size guides, rather than just having to pick a size at random and praying for the best.

grey-sunday-selfie

My birthday gifts from my (utterly wonderful) husband were a delightfully snarky Laura Callaghan necklace from Tatty Devine and a gorgeous Charlotte Tilbury eyeshadow palette in Legendary Muse. One of the most rewarding things I’ve done with my look this year is to experiment more with eye make-up, and I feel it’s really paid off with the look I’ve created here using Legendary Muse. The golds and green tinged yellow shades blend together to make the green-blue colour of my eyes really stand out. I’d recommend putting it on your Christmas list if you’d like Santa to stick some truly outstanding eyeshadow underneath your tree.

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fat acceptance, fat positivity, personal style, plus sized bloggers, plus sized blogging, plus sized fashion, tattoos

Sympathetic Ink: On tattoos and fat acceptance

My most recent tattoo. Isn't she gorgeous?

My most recent tattoo. Isn’t she gorgeous?

When I got my first tattoo – a small ‘Love’ symbol on my right wrist – back in 2008, I laughed when people told me that they were addictive. ‘Nope,’ I told everyone. ‘That’s not going to happen to me. I might get one or two, but I’m not going to be one of those people with ink covering both arms.’ Cut to a fortnight ago when I decided that my left arm was ‘looking a bit bare’ and it made sense to get a fantastically fierce (and gigantic) tiger lady tattooed on it. Famous last words and all that.

It’s a massive cliché, but I love my tattoos. I have eight of them (so far) and they are as much a part of me as one of my arms or feet. They’re a map of memories on my skin – markers of my constantly evolving relationship with my body, a process that has been as challenging as it has been rewarding.

Four of my tattoos.

Four of my tattoos.

Like many people, I’ve spent a fair chunk of my life waging a war against my appearance. For most of my 20s I believed I was too unattractive, too weird and too fat for anyone to take me seriously. I will never forget logging on to a forum I frequented in 2005 to discover that some people (who I misguidedly thought were my friends) had uploaded a picture of me and were poking fun at my hair, my clothes and my size. Or the time that my ex asked me what happened to the skinny girl he fell in love with. Little things, but they stick to you like tar, making you feel lumpen and useless.

This isn’t some sob story. I’m sure that everyone reading this will have similar tales to share (after all, we live in a society that encourages us to find fault with ourselves in the smallest things.) As I’ve gotten older, I’ve called a truce in the war I’d been constantly waging against myself. I don’t have the time or the energy to invest in trying to take up less space in the world. Instead, I’d much rather work on appreciating the fantastic landscape of my body – belly rolls, double chin and all.

My favourite picture of me with my rolling pin tattoo. You would never know that I'd only had four hours sleep when this picture was taken.

My favourite picture of me with my rolling pin tattoo. You would never know that I’d only had four hours sleep when this picture was taken.

I see getting tattooed as my own form of self care. It shows that I care about my body so much that I want to cover it in beautiful, interesting art that I can show off to the world. That I am proud to show off a fat body, which I am supposed to feel discomforted and shamed by. I’ve written before about my mildly antagonistic relationship with my upper arms, always believing them to be too white and too flabby. Getting them inked gave me the perfect opportunity to flaunt them and their satisfying roundness to the world. I still have days where I feel uncomfortable or anxious about how I look. But I have even more where I look in the mirror and see a super-hot, confident woman looking back at me. A woman who just happens to have a naked pin-up girl decorating her right arm.

I realise that getting tattooed is not for everyone. Good ones done by experienced artists are expensive and I’m exceptionally privileged to be able to afford mine. I am also lucky enough to work in an environment where they have never been an issue (although I do keep them covered when I have to be ‘professional.’) And whenever I’ve shown them to my parents, they’ve been met with a drama-free meh rather than a cry of you’ve brought shame upon this family!  Although my Dad did raise an eyebrow when I got a giant multi-coloured rolling pin on my right arm.

Fat positivity is expressed in a variety of different ways. Mine just happens to come in the form of signs and symbols swirling over my arms. And when people ask me what my various tattoos mean, I tell them that they mean that my body is important. My body is magnificent. My body is beautiful.

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