Grey Sunday

I’ve been in a bit of a bleak mood recently. Blame it on the achingly cold weather, the lack of natural sunlight or the fact that every time I look at the news, I want to curl up in the foetal position and wail, but I haven’t really felt like my best self. But, I’m a busy woman and I have important shit to do, so vacuum sealing myself inside a pillow fort for the foreseeable future isn’t really convenient. So, I did what I always do when I feel like the world is a flaming skip fire. I slapped on some eyeshadow, threw on a snuggly roll neck jumper and treated myself to a rather fancy brunch.

ROLL NECK: Junarose 

TROUSERS: ASOS Curve (old)

BELT: ASOS Curve

SHOES: Marks and Spencer

NECKLACE: Tatty Devine

EARRINGS: Accessorize

Despite the vast amount of #dealz filled emails hitting my inbox, I managed to be quite restrained on Black Friday. Somehow, I managed to limit myself to only purchasing a sweatshirt, a belt and the Junarose roll neck you see here in the ASOS 20% off everything sale. Not that I needed much of an excuse to buy this roll neck mind you, it’s been sitting in my ‘saved’ items for longer than I care to admit.

Like all Junarose items I’ve purchased, this roll neck is simple yet stylish. I love the soft, neutral grey colour (the exact shade of a freezing December sky) and it’s shaped really nicely. While I will never quite avoid the dreaded ‘shelf tit’ effect that larger boobed women such as myself are prone to, the cut and fit of it feel – forgive me here – flattering. While I love my body, I also feel remarkably self conscious about having very large breasts so any item of clothing which makes them look relatively proportional to the rest of my body is very welcome.

I’m wearing a ‘large’ here, mainly because I found it impossible to find an accurate size chart on Junarose or ASOS’s websites. I do wish retailers would realise that people appreciate being given accurate size guides, rather than just having to pick a size at random and praying for the best.

My birthday gifts from my (utterly wonderful) husband were a delightfully snarky Laura Callaghan necklace from Tatty Devine and a gorgeous Charlotte Tilbury eyeshadow palette in Legendary Muse. One of the most rewarding things I’ve done with my look this year is to experiment more with eye make-up, and I feel it’s really paid off with the look I’ve created here using Legendary Muse. The golds and green tinged yellow shades blend together to make the green-blue colour of my eyes really stand out. I’d recommend putting it on your Christmas list if you’d like Santa to stick some truly outstanding eyeshadow underneath your tree.

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Five Friday Faves: 02.09.2016

I love nice things and I’m sure you do too. Life is often hard, sad and brutal – 2016 has been a great example of that – and there’s no shame in wanting to treat yourself when it all feels a bit much. I’m a big advocate of self-care, but I don’t believe that you need to spend huge amounts of money to do this. While I’m lucky and able to regularly indulge myself with cute new clothes and make-up, I also delight in simple, inexpensive things like long walks and even longer hot baths.

With this in mind (and because it’s all the rage), I’m going to post five of my favourite things each Friday. It’s not just going to be stuff you can buy – although there will be a fair bit of that, of course – but also book recommendations, links to interesting articles, TV shows to watch, blogs to read, podcasts to listen to and one nice thing you can do for yourself each week. Basically, all the good stuff.

Here’s this week’s five Friday faves.

BUY YOURSELF SOME FLOWERS

The last time I had a bunch of flowers in my house was after my wedding and I’m ashamed to say that I left them in the vase until they became horribly brown and wilted. Since then, I’ve not really thought of buying myself flowers. They always seemed so expensive and I never knew where I’d put them in my house. Then, on Monday, I noticed that Aldi were doing cheap bouquets in a huge variety of glorious colours. I picked up these chrysanthemums for £2.50, popped them in a vase* (*wine decanter) and placed them on my dining table/freelance working space. I love how bright and vibrant they make my room look. Plus, there’s something quite lovely about buying yourself flowers to just appreciate the fact that you’re an ace person who’s managed to get through another day without major incident.

WATCH ‘FLEABAG’ ON BBC3

Ignore everything you may have read about BBC3’s ‘Fleabag’ comparing it to ‘Girls,’ ‘Bridget Jones’s Diary,’ and even ‘Miranda.’ It is none of these things. What it actually is is a brilliant examination of grief, guilt, female anger, friendships, fucked up families and lots and lots of bumming jokes. While the main character is a 20-something woman who experiences romantic love and quite a lot of sex,  here it is hollow, manipulative and joyless rather than the be-all and end-all of her life. Since I watched it in one gulp earlier this week, I cannot stop thinking about it. It is three hours of the rawest, funniest TV I’ve seen all year and definitely the best thing I’ve ever seen on BBC3 (which is a big deal when you consider how much i love Don’t Tell The Bride.)

MERAKI SCENTED CANDLES (£8 – £12)

For ages I was a scented candle sceptic, believing that there were just a very nice smelling means of burning money. Maybe it’s because I’m in my 30s and ‘nesting’, or maybe because I’m fed up with my house smelling of yesterday’s dinner and farts, but I have become an avowed convert to the candle cause. If anything, I frequently fear that I’m going to end up like this infamous tweet. I discovered Danish brand Meraki’s recently and have become a huge fan. They promise to have a 35 hour burn time and come in a range of delicious scents. I particularly like the Sandalwood & Jasmine – a great sweet and spicy last days of summer fragrance.

JEAN MARC PHILIPPE POLKA DOT SHIRT FROM NAVABI (£79.99)

navabi excels in super-elegant pieces and this great Jean Marc Philippe shirt has stolen my heart. Yes, it’s a polka dot print, but it’s as far away from kitschy 1950s version of polka dots as you can get. If anything, it reminds me slightly of something you’d see from Lulu Guinness whose items I absolute adore. This shirt is serious enough to wear to work and stylish enough to wear to an informal dinner with friends afterwards. Definitely one for my ‘well put together business bitch’ list.

 

 

ESTELLA BARTLETT PINEAPPLE NECKLACE (£19.99)

I’m still in mourning for the gorgeous ASOS pineapple necklace I bought a few years ago which snapped the second time I worn it. Ever since then, I’ve been hunting for the perfect pineapple charm and I think I may have found it here. (Like me), it’s chunky yet funky and it won’t break the bank. Just the thing for some September tropical vibes.

What are your Friday faves? 

The return of the Fat White Duke

I don’t wish to speak too rashly, but I believe that this Pink Clove jumpsuit may be the perfect jumpsuit. It’s chic, comfy and can be worn to every event going (important work meetings, walking through the snow while listening to David Bowie or just dates where you just sit around with your mates eating massive grilled cheese sandwiches.) Best of all, it doesn’t have a zipper meaning you don’t have to dislocate your shoulder trying to unzip the bloody thing when you need a wee. Trust me, when you have a tiny bladder and like to stay hydrated, these things are important.

JUMPSUIT: Pink Clove

BELT: Little Mistress (taken from this jumpsuit)

SHOES: ASOS (out of stock, but these are similar)

EARRINGS: Black Heart Creatives

LIPSTICK: MAC Dita Von Teese Red

I’ve seen a similar ASOS Curve version of this on Bethany and Charlotte, and admired how they’d dressed it up to suit their own unique styles. My current favourite way to wear this is with a big belt, big earrings and some silver brogues. However, I also think it would be equally as good with a statement necklace and a pair of heels. Its simplicity makes it incredibly versatile.

The best part about it though is the fit. It’s true to size with just enough stretch, meaning you can slip in and out of it in a trice. I’m 5ft 7 and the pant leg fits perfectly. The crotch doesn’t sag and it makes my arse look amazing. A friend recently described it as looking like a cross between a tuxedo and ‘work pyjamas,’ which is pretty accurate.

I commissioned Black Heart Creatives to make me some (very silly and ostentatious) palm tree earrings last year which go perfectly with this outfit. They make me feel like Bootle’s answer to Pat Butcher which – in my opinion – is a strong look for 2016.

 

I love you, you pay my rent

Much as I like my new job, some elements of it have taken a bit of getting used to. I have to wake up at 5.50am, remember to bring a packed lunch with me (or I’ll go and buy lots of expensive snacks from Pret) and wear a bra to the office every day. I also have to wear proper office attire which is a little fancier than my old ‘working from home’ uniform of a saggy t-shirt, a blanket scarf and a pair of yoga pants with a (gigantic) hole in the thigh.

DRESS: ASOS Curve

BELT: ASOS

SHOES: And Other Stories

EARRINGS: Topshop

We’ve not had a bathroom mirror selfie on here for a while, have we? Do you like my new lino?

As soon as I saw this ASOS Curve wiggle dress, I knew it would be the perfect thing for the office. It’s professional enough to give me the ‘power bitch’ look I constantly aspire to, can be thrown on in mere minutes (great when you’re short on time and heavy on snooziness), and has pockets deep enough to hold all my bits-and-bobs when I’m running from meeting to meeting.

Let us all take a moment here to appreciate these magnificent red stiletto heels from And Other Stories. They are what my friend affectionately refers to as ‘display heels’ – you can’t really walk in them, but wearing them makes you feel fantastic. They are what I wear when I want to feel that I am living my best life – the one where I am coming to steal your man and write him a shit hot social media strategy.

There’s a wonderful quote from Francois Nars on the NARS website; “I have a real love affair with lipstick. It gives you more power.” I couldn’t agree more. Their ‘Rita’ Audacious lipstick is the most delicious shade of oxblood red. Wearing it makes me feel like I’m wearing the blood of my enemies, like I’m a woman of substance and importance. Like I know what I am doing.