Luxury Witch

Recently, I attended a job interview where I found myself explaining the concept of a ‘Luxury Witch’ to a rather bemused interview panel. ‘Imagine a really well dressed Goth who takes Ubers everywhere,’ I exclaimed before informing them that crushed velvet and pleated skirts were really in this season. They’re yet to let me know if I’ve been offered the job.

Whatever happens with my employment prospects, I’m deeply happy to have introduced the concept of ‘Luxury Witch’ to a wider audience. And – if this term ever appears in the Oxford English Dictionary – you’d probably find a picture of this outfit underneath it.

COAT: Marks and Spencer

ROLL NECK: Marks and Spencer

PLEATED SKIRT: Marks and Spencer

BELT: Vintage

BOOTS: Topshop

EARRINGS: Monki

My love of Marks and Spencer’s clothing runs deep – I will go to my grave arguing that they make the comfiest underwear on the market – and they are really knocking it out of the park this season. Their stuff is chic, reasonably priced and doesn’t fall apart after a few rounds in the washing machine (handy when you spill as much down yourself as I do). They do great everyday basics and on trend pieces like this gloriously witchy metallic midi skirt and leopard print coat, both of which look far more luxurious than their price tags would lead you to believe. Plus, M&S remains the only shop I can pop into during my lunch hour where I can purchase moisturiser, a skirt and a sandwich at the same time. What a time to be alive.

In the spirit of Halloween, I opted to experiment with my eye make-up and try out a more dramatic look. I used Make Up Revolution’s ‘Fortune Favours The Brave’ palette (an absolute bargain at £9.99) to recreate this gorgeous rose gold smokey eye look. I’m a bit of a novice when it comes to eyeshadow, but this is such a lovely (and easy!) tutorial to follow. While it’s not quite as elegant as Nancy’s,  I’m super pleased about how well it turned out.

I completed the look with MAC’s ‘Roxo‘, a limited edition blood red lipstick. While this particular shade is sold out on their website, I’m fairly sure that you could find lots of lovely dupes without searching too hard.

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Peg Leg

I’m not a huge wearer of trousers. I think I have some residual trauma from years of wearing awful polyester school pants followed by trying to buy jeans which fit properly. But one of my 2016 fashion resolutions was to experiment more with my look, both with clothes and make-up . I loved how these peg leg trousers were styled on the ASOS Curve website and thought they would be great to wear for work and play.

TOP: ASOS Curve

TROUSERS: ASOS Curve

SHOES: ASOS

NECKLACE: Topshop

EARRINGS: Topshop

I didn’t expect much from these trousers to be honest. I worried that they’d go baggy after a few wears or slip down my hips and accidentally reveal my butt at inconvenient moments. But they are super comfy, super stretchy and have pleasingly deep pockets. My colleagues have nicknamed these my ‘Beetlejuice trousers’ because they do look like something you would wear for a Beetlejuice cosplay. Hey, he did know how to rock a stripe.

I’ve tended to wear these with heeled boots, but now the weather’s getting warmer, these super cool heeled silver ASOS loafers are getting more of an outing. They look so good that I will forgive them for giving me some ridiculously painful blisters the first time I wore them.

I’ve been suffering terribly from eczema around my cheeks, chin, mouth and eyes recently. I’ll write more about my experiences with this soon, but it’s really dented my confidence. I consider myself to be a woman who is very comfortable with her looks, but it’s still hard when you look in the mirror and see huge, angry looking red blotches all over your face.

I’m slowly getting to grips with it thanks to a lovely dermatologist and spending an eye watering sum of money on topical steroids. But I thought I’d do a slightly more bronzed look (with some added eye make-up) to go with this outfit. I used MAC’s Charlotte Olympia collection cream color base in ‘Golden Age’, followed by MAC’s eyeshadow in Swiss Chocolate. I then went over this with a gold eye pencil I’d received in my Birchbox a few months ago. The lipstick is my beloved MAC Charlotte Olympia ‘Retro Rouge’ which is pretty much my go-to red at the moment. I love how well it complements my hair and eyes, plus it lasts for ages. Which is handy when you drink as much tea as I do.

Put a scarf on it

I love scarves. My house is littered with them and I’m always thinking of ways I can incorporate them into my outfits. Now I’ve (finally) gone and bought myself a new pair of jeans, I’ve reverted back to my standard uniform of jeans, t-shirt and a jewel coloured scarf draped around my neck. It’s a chic and colourful combo, although I do worry that if I tie my scarf the wrong way I’ll look like a cowgirl on her way to the rodeo.

COAT: Marks and Spencer

T-SHIRT: ASOS Curve

SCARF: Vintage

JEANS: Marks and Spencer

BOOTS: Topshop

EARRINGS: Topshop

TOTE BAG: Verso 

I hate jeans. Which is a bold thing to say when I consider them to be a staple item in my wardrobe. But no other item of clothing makes me feel as depressed as jeans do. Very few fit my body shape to my liking, usually being too tight around my thighs and too loose around my hips and butt. However, I think I’ve finally cracked it with these jeggings from Marks and Spencer. Jeggings may be one of the worst portmanteau words in the clothing lexicon, but I’ll forgive these because they’re ridiculously comfortable and fit like a dream. Plus, they look great worn with these gorgeous boots from Topshop which are also way comfier than they look. Any shoe which can cushion my feet from the mean Mancunian streets is a sure fire winner.

I had a bit of a moment in MAC over Easter when I saw their stunning Charlotte Olympia collection. Somehow I managed not to buy all of it, limiting myself to an eyeshadow brush, a gold cream eyeshadow and this gorgeous matte lipstick in Retro Rouge. It’s a browner, deeper red than I usually wear, but I love how it really brings out the blue and green in my eyes. I added a sweep of Topshop’s Chameleon highlighter across my cheeks for that whole ‘cherub sent down from heaven’ look I’ve been so fond of recently.

Chub Tropicana

Weddings are awesome. Well, all the ones I’ve ever been to have been awesome at least. Earlier this month, my excellent friends Michael and Francesca got married at Brockwell Lido, and it was an utterly perfect day. The sun shone, the booze flowed, there was a mariachi band, my best friend and I danced in a remarkably ’emotional’ way to ‘Yes’ by McAlmont & Butler and everyone looked fantastic.

I thought I scrubbed up pretty well considering that less than twelve hours before, I was crying uncontrollably while drinking prosecco out of a pint glass (it was my last day at my old job – there were mitigating circumstances!)

DRESS: Paperdolls at Simply Be

SHOES: Primark

EARRINGS: Topshop

SUNGLASSES: Topshop

LIPSTICK: All Fired Up by MAC

Lets all take a moment to appreciate this gorgeous dress from Simply Be because I very nearly didn’t buy it. I’d originally opted to go with something from ASOS until – horror of horrors! – they sent me the wrong item. By the time they’d realised their mistake, the dress I wanted was out of stock. As it turned out, I was quite happy that ASOS screwed up, because this dress is a real stunner. The floral pattern is bright, bold and beautiful, it shows the perfect amount of cleavage, and it clings to all the right places. Plus, it’s stretchy enough to allow you to throw yourself around on a dance floor, which should be a key attribute of any good wedding outfit.

What I like most about this outfit though is that I look very visibly chubby around the middle – even though I was wearing some pretty heavy duty shape wear. A few years ago, this would have depressed me mightily (‘I spent all that money on Spanx and I don’t have a flat stomach?’) I’m not going to lie and say that I’m 100% comfortable with it, but when I look at these pictures now, I see a happy confident fat woman wearing a fantastic dress. (And, may I add, looking pretty good while doing it.) That new found appreciation of my body – as an ally I should take care of rather than a foe to be defeated – means far more to me than a bit of pudge and a double chin.

Living that 24/7 selfie life with Mr. McMc

Tropicalia

A word of advice – never bet. Or, to be more precise, never bet on the outcome of premier league football. Earlier this year, emboldened by wine and my own misplaced bravado, I made a foolhardy bet with Mr. McMc that if Tim Sherwood kept Aston Villa up this season, I’d buy him dinner. At the time, it seemed like a no brainer. Villa’s prospects were poor and Sherwood didn’t exactly excel as manager during his time at Spurs. Well, the gilet-wearing git only went and did the impossible. And, because I am a woman of my word, I decided to dress up all fancy last weekend and take my bird out for a slap up Tapas tea.

One day I will post an outfit picture where I am not squinting, and where it doesn’t look as though I’m going to leap through the screen and beat you up.

I’d like to apologise for any trauma that readers experience after being subjected to a picture of my manky feet.

DRESS: ASOS

BELT: Primark

SANDALS: ASOS

NECKLACE: Tatty Devine

EARRINGS: Topshop

The dress is an oldie-but-a-goodie that I bought from ASOS last year after seeing it worn on the always glamorous George from Fuller Figure Fuller Bust. Sadly, you’re going to have to take my word about it revealing a tasteful amount of back, as it turns out it’s nigh on impossble for me to get a decent picture of my own back, even when I’m contorting myself in front of a mirror. However, the crowning glory of this tropical mess of an outfit is the sandals. I lost my head slightly during ASOS’s 20% off everything sale a few weeks back, and decided that they were just the shoes I needed to cut my feet into ribbons this summer. Like so many shoes I’ve bought in my lifetime, while they look gorgeous, they require a whole lot of breaking in. In a fit of ill advised vanity, I decided to wear them to a meeting in Manchester last week, and spent most of my time there waddling around like a duck as they rubbed on the sides of my feet. By the time I managed to hobble back home, my blisters had blisters. What can I say? I suffer for my art.

I’ve spoken before about my deep deep love for MAC’s All Fired Up, but it has very quickly become my go-to lipstick. Perhaps it’s because it goes so well with my hair, or perhaps because wearing such a bright shade makes me feel incredibly joyous, but it feels like the perfect lipstick for summer. I rarely leave home without it.

And because I’m such a generous person, here’s two selfies for the price of one, and a shout out to NAR’s lipgloss in Corsica which is just gorgeous. Purchased during what I am now calling ‘the great ASOS spree of June 2015,’ it’s an incredibly flattering shade of pinky-brown with just a touch of shimmer. It’s matt, isn’t sticky or gloopy and has real staying power (or as much staying power as you could ask for from a lipgloss.)  I’m not the greatest fan of lipglosses, but (like all NARs products) this one is a real keeper.

Jump Jump

Last week saw me travel to London to do a professional baking course, write a huge presentation about cake, go to a wonderful cookery night with Great British Chefs, come home, wake up at 7am the next day to travel to Birmingham to give a presentation about fa(t)shion blogging at BlogCamp (hello to everyone I met there! Thanks for listening to me go on about myself!) and then travel back to Liverpool for my to my soon-to-be sister-in-law’s hen night where I did a lot of awkward dancing, drank one too many cocktails, and wore a pretty snazzy sequined jumpsuit. No wonder I’m bloody knackered.

I appear to be working some remarkably impressive ‘resting bitch face’ in this picture.

JUMPSUIT: Little Mistress
BOOTS: Vintage
LEOPARD PRINT COAT: Vintage (Ebay)
EARRINGS: Gogo Philip

I’d originally purchased this jumpsuit to wear to my DJ’ing extravaganza last month, but due to a delivery cock-up, it didn’t arrive in time. I’ll let Little Mistress off the hook this time though, because this jumpsuit is absolutely glorious. It’s chic with just the right amount of razzle-dazzle, and wearing it with my leopard print coat made me feel like one of those glamorous bitchy women you’d see in a 1980s soap opera. Best of all (with a bit of manipulation), I could zip the back up-and-down by myself without having to ask anyone for help crawling out of it when I needed a wee. Although this did lead me to think that the person who invents a jumpsuit with a handy flap – thereby allowing women to pull down the appropriate section for toileting – will make millions.

One note of caution though – this is an item obviously created with the taller woman in mind. I’m 5ft 7 and wearing a size 20 here, and the legs fit beautifully, without dragging on the floor. However, if you’re a touch shorter, consider taking the legs up a notch, or wearing skyscraper heels so you don’t end up tripping over yourself all evening.

Seeing as it was pay day and, well, I felt like it, I also invested in a new lipstick – MAC’s All Fired Up – purchased from the hottest branch of MAC (both in terms of heat and the attractiveness of staff) I’ve ever been in. In the tube, it looks almost fuschia, but I found it to be a gorgeous shade of red-pink once it was on my lips. It’s from their Retro Matte range which means it’s very matte, and last ages, but can be a bit drying. However, I love it, and have already added it to the rotation of ‘lipsticks I carry around in my handbag in case of emergency’. (The emergency of course being that I need to apply lipstick.)

Chase the Elephant

What I did with my weekend, by Christina McMc, aged 32 1/2.

Went to yoga, ate a bacon sandwich, watched ‘The Jinx’ (which is fantastic – if problematic), drank a lot of Prosecco, watched my beloved Manchester City get annihilated in the Manchester Derby, and made a Sunday Times journalist believe that I would eat her. Pretty standard really.

I also went for ‘unlimited tapas’ with Mr. McMc last night. Because if there’s a better phrase in the English/Spanish language than ‘unlimited tapas,’ I haven’t found it yet. Naturally, I needed to dress appropriately for the occasion, so I decided to break out the elephants.

BLAZER: ASOS Curve

T-SHIRT: ASOS Curve

LEGGINGS: ASOS Curve

NECKLACE: Tatty Devine

EARRINGS: Topshop

SHOES: Primark

My favourite thing to do with outfits at the moment is to start off with a base layer of a neutral t-shirt and jeans/leggings, before layering lots of accessories over it. My black ASOS Curve t-shirt and wetlook leggings (told you they were my jam) are practically my uniform at the moment and tend to go with pretty much everything in my wardrobe. As for the elephant blazer? Well, I bought it last year on a whim because I love elephant print (and elephants) and because I thought it made me look like an elegant society arts patron who is into all things expensive and art deco.

Yes I know I need to fix both my eyebrows and my roots.

The whole art deco vibe is helped by these amazing Topshop earrings I bought back in 2012. I don’t have much luck with Topshop earrings (they have a annoying habit of bouncing out of my ears, or getting destroyed in my handbag.) However, I’ve worn the crap out of these since I purchased them, and if I ever lose them, I’ll be utterly bereft. They look like the kind of things you’d find after rummaging around in a vintage stall on Portobello Rd rather than in a dusty corner of a high street retailer. The lipstick I’m wearing is one of my favourites, MAC’s limited edition Pedro Lourenco collection in Roxo. It’s a rich deep plum colour which is a lot darker than the shades I usually tend to wear. However, I really like how it changes my face and brings out the green-blue in my eyes. Proof that even us Gingers can go Goth occasionally.