Treat yo’self: April Pay Day edition

Let me get real for a moment here readers. April was a gold plated turd of a month. Work was rough, my Mum broke her hip quite badly before Easter, I got stranded (ish) in London after a fire at Euston station and – to top it all off – I was treated to some chronic insomnia. It felt like I spent most of the month crying from exhaustion, stress, or both. Part of me is blaming it on Mercury in retrograde, and another part is just blaming it on a year which seems to be far too bloody keen on seeing how far it can push me before I finally snap (to which I say, ‘do your worst, bitch.’)

So, allow me to indulge in some good old fashioned capitalism in the form of payday retail therapy. Fashion brands have embraced spring big time, which means lots of pastels, pleats, flounces and frills (arguably Spring/Summer is the only season where we’ll let them off for their obsession with cold shoulders.) You don’t have to look far at the moment to find some really unique, fun, plus sized items. I’m particularly smitten with the mules shown above in that perfect shade of parma violet. They’d look fantastic when paired with a super cute nautical themed t-shirt from Joanie (just one piece in a sailor themed collection which manages to be cute without veering into the costumey) and a metallic pleated skirt from Marks and Spencer – an item which I could see myself flouncing around in on both an office floor and a dance floor. Just add this great 80s-esque Laura Slater designed leather clutch bag from Kin at John Lewis and Bob’s your drag queen.

Then there’s this kimono from Monki which appears to be the Twitter-cool-girl uniform item of choice at the moment. I’ve seen a remarkable amount of babes wearing it (and looking amazing while doing so) which means I’ll be forced to pick my own up soon – after all, I do hate to be left out of trends. And besides, just look at that print! Imagine how many selfies you could take wearing it while posing on a sandy beach next to a palm tree. Or, just in your bedroom standing next to a cheese plant if you’re on a budget.

Suede Cross Strap Mules (£65.00) – And Other Stories

Frankie French Nautical Tee (£18.00) – Joanie

Laura Slater Leather Clutch Bag (£55.20) Kin by John Lewis

Metallic Pleated A-Line Skirt (£49.50) – Marks and Spencer

Long Caftan Dress (£30.00) – Monki

 

 

Autumn Leaves

After a year which could charitably be deemed to be ‘a bit difficult’, I am freaking overjoyed that Autumn is finally here. It’s always been my favourite season, mostly because it feels like a new beginning, that bigger and better things – crisp cold days! Big coats! Opaque tights! Excuses to make soup! My birthday!  – are just around the corner. It also means that I can legitimately purchase all the jumpers I’ve been swooning over for the past few weeks.

JUMPER: Marks & Spencer

JEANS: Marks & Spencer

SHOES: Primark

NECKLACE: Oliver Bonas (old)

EARRINGS: And Other Stories (old)

The theme for Autumn 2016 on the high street appears to be ‘Barb from Stranger Things chic’ which is an aesthetic that I can totally get on board with. The ultra femme side of me loves frills and flounces in all the right places, even more so if they come in delicious shades of mustard, like this Marks and Spencer jumper. Everything about this is perfect, from the lovely ribbed details to the fact that it’s just the right length to wear with jeans. Too short jumpers are a big bugbear of mine, as there’s nothing worse than leaving the house feeling your look, only to spend your afternoon constantly tugging your top down.

I paired this with my trusty skinny jeans (MARKS AND SPENCER, NEVER STOP MAKING THESE) and a pair of gold block heels from Primark, which – surprisingly – happen to be the comfiest pair of heels that I have worn in a long time. So much so in fact, that I recently managed to spend a whole weekend in them while lugging a wheelie suitcase around North London.

My new favourite lipstick at the moment is Supreme from MDMFlow, a rich warm reddish pink which is perfect for the season. I’ve been raving about MDMFlow’s make up for a while now, as it’s everything I love in a beauty brand. It offers affordable products in bright bold colours, all created by a bad ass woman of colour. I am in total awe of Florence Adepoju, the woman behind the brand and I totally recommend reading this brilliant Buzzfeed piece about her. If you’re thinking about tinkering with your look this Autumn, their products are a great place to start.

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A Shift of Opinion

As I mentioned in my last post, I went to Barcelona for my wedding anniversary last week. Barcelona has quickly become one of my favourite European cities, mainly because it contains a beach, glorious architecture, incredible art, stunning food and Gin & Tonics as large as a small child’s head. I’ve not had the easiest year for a number of reasons, but on Saturday night I sat in a Absinthe bar which looked like something Hemmingway would have passed out in, laughing at stupid jokes with Mr. McMc and felt a perfect happiness, the likes of which I haven’t felt in a long time. I’m already planning my return trip.

Unsurprisingly, I also wore some really good outfits. Like this simple shift dress from New Look.

SUNGLASSES: ASOS (The ones I’m wearing here are out of stock, but these are very similar)

NECKLACE: Monki

EARRINGS: And Other Stories

DRESS: New Look

HANDBAG: Liquorish (old)

SHOES: ASOS

2016 has been the year where I break arbitrary fat girl fashion rules (e.g. ‘don’t get your arms out!’ and ‘always cinch your waist!’) and while this shift dress may look simple, it packs a real punch in the looks department. It’s so simple that you can dress it up or down any way you like. I decided to keep it simple(ish), pairing it with some metallic accessories and a killer red lipstick. Unfortunately, I didn’t manage to get any pictures of its lovely cut out back design, which gives it a bit more pizazz than your average plain back shift dress.

ASOS shoes don’t have the best reputation in my house, owing to the fact that I do so much walking (and have such heavy feet) that I tend to wear through them in record time. I’m actually shocked that these flat sandals held up as well as they did seeing that we were walking around eight miles a day – albeit with the occasional beer and tapas break.

I also discovered that Spain has branches of Sephora, which I was drawn to like a moth is drawn to a flame (coloured lipstick). I only meant to buy some hand wash, but came out with a hand wash, three TonyMoly face masks, a Marc Jacobs eyeliner and this incredible ‘always red’ Cream Lip Stain which does not come off. In the interests of beauty blogger ‘research’, I tested its resilience with kissing, boozing and eating and it barely flaked. Once again, I am cursing the fact that we no longer have Sephora’s in the UK. Although saying that, it’s probably a good thing, as if we did there’s a strong likelihood I’d end up bankrupt.

Look What You Could Have Worn: Barcelona edition

 

 

ASOS jumpsuit

I’m off to Barcelona tomorrow to celebrate my wedding anniversary (four whole years!) For the first time in my adult life, I am going to attempt to pack light which is no mean feat considering I am notorious for a) leaving my packing until the last minute and b) throwing my entire wardrobe into my suitcase ‘just in case.’ ‘Just in case what?’ you might ask. Well, not even I know the answer to that question, but I am slowly trying to convince myself that a four day trip does not require me to pack 50+ lipsticks. On a more practical note, Ryanair rinsed me of cash earlier this year when my suitcase weighed way more than their allotted allowance. Something has to give, and this time, it cannot be my credit card.

To paraphrase one of my favourite memes, I intend to ‘get me some items which can do both.’ The both being outfits which will allow me to look cool and chic while exploring some of Spain’s most glorious architecture and are voluminous enough to allow me to consume my own bodyweight in cava and tapas. The ASOS minimal jumpsuit and New Look Shift Dress are both simple and chic, requiring nothing more than some simple silver jewellery, a slash of lipstick and a decent belt to make them both look exquisite. Robust, flat sandals are a must when going on holiday in a warm climate, and these ASOS Wide Fit leather sandals will go with pretty much everything.

While I realise that this is rapidly becoming a Charlotte Tilbury fan blog, her Beach Sticks deserve a mention here as they’re the perfect item to shove in your make-up bag if you’re looking for a cream blush which also works as a lipstick. Her Formentera shade is a beautifully dewy shade of rose which works really well if you have blue-green eyes like me. I’ve also been lucky enough to nab a few samples of Acqua di Parma’s new Rosa Nobile fragrance, a delicate grown-up rose fragrance which puts me in mind of warm summer nights rather than a Yardley counter.

If you’re going on holiday to celebrate the long weekend, which clothing and beauty essentials will you be taking with you? Let me know in the comments!

(From left to right)

1. Acqua di Parma Rosa Nobile – £76.00

2. Charlotte Tilbury Beach Stick in ‘Formentera’ – £30.00

3. Mango Panel Tote Bag – £15.99

4. ASOS Cat Eye Sunglasses With Built Up Highbrow – £8.00
5. And Other Stories Toga Earrings – £17.00
6. And Other Stories Medallion Pendant Necklace – £19.00
7. ASOS JUGGLER Wide Fit Leather Summer Shoes – £20.00
8. ASOS CURVE 2 Pack Cat Buckle Belt – £8.00
9. ASOS CURVE Minimal Jumpsuit in Blocked Abstract Print – £45.00
10. New Look Plus Cami Slip Dress – £19.99

Plus Sized Powerhouse

November is here, and I couldn’t be happier. After the crap fest which was October, I am more than ready for a month laden with nice things (Cinnamon topped treats! A holiday to Utrecht! Thanksgiving! My birthday!)

I kicked off my month of indulgence in London this weekend, where Mr. McMc and I ate our own body weight in noodles at X’ian Impression, went for a long walk down the South Bank, had an incredible brunch at The Spoke in Archway, visited The World goes Pop exhibit at Tate Modern, and got rather tipsy on cheap beer while arguing with my friend Michael about Pep Guardiola’s Mancunian loyalties. And I did all this while wearing a pencil skirt which gave me a very obvious VBO (visible belly outline.)

Coat: Marks & Spencer

Roll neck: Marks & Spencer

Skirt: Lindy Bop

Shoes: ASOS (old)

Necklace: Primark

Handbag: And Other Stories

I love this outfit because it breaks all sorts of rules about what plus sized women should wear. My tits look like a shelf, and the skirt’s not very flattering to my midriff area. But I’ve worn it a number of times over the past few weeks because it’s snuggly, chic and makes me feel like an office friendly Bet Lynch.

I have quite a visible tummy which I used to be incredibly paranoid about. I tried everything to tame it – baggy skirts, control top tights, industrial strength shape wear – and yet it still pooched out whenever I wore tight fitting clothes. So, I became stuck in that catch-22 familiar to all fat girls. Either I wear kaftans and mumu’s for the rest of my life (which would be comfortable, but not always practical), or just deal with the fact that my belly was always going to get in the way of things. I chose the latter option.

I didn’t realise just how empowering this decision would make me feel until I got some pictures back from a meeting I chaired a few months ago. In them, I have a very visible VBO, but look like an A+ power bitch. It turns out that if you carry yourself with confidence, no one will give a shit about your belly. And if they do, their opinion on fashion probably isn’t one you should listen to anyway.

This isn’t to say that I’ve ceremonially burnt all my shape wear. But I don’t feel as though I need to wear it in order to look ‘good.’ Besides, I still haven’t forgiven my Spanx for giving me a cracking blister on my thumb after I tried to pull them up while pissed.

I love you, you pay my rent

Much as I like my new job, some elements of it have taken a bit of getting used to. I have to wake up at 5.50am, remember to bring a packed lunch with me (or I’ll go and buy lots of expensive snacks from Pret) and wear a bra to the office every day. I also have to wear proper office attire which is a little fancier than my old ‘working from home’ uniform of a saggy t-shirt, a blanket scarf and a pair of yoga pants with a (gigantic) hole in the thigh.

DRESS: ASOS Curve

BELT: ASOS

SHOES: And Other Stories

EARRINGS: Topshop

We’ve not had a bathroom mirror selfie on here for a while, have we? Do you like my new lino?

As soon as I saw this ASOS Curve wiggle dress, I knew it would be the perfect thing for the office. It’s professional enough to give me the ‘power bitch’ look I constantly aspire to, can be thrown on in mere minutes (great when you’re short on time and heavy on snooziness), and has pockets deep enough to hold all my bits-and-bobs when I’m running from meeting to meeting.

Let us all take a moment here to appreciate these magnificent red stiletto heels from And Other Stories. They are what my friend affectionately refers to as ‘display heels’ – you can’t really walk in them, but wearing them makes you feel fantastic. They are what I wear when I want to feel that I am living my best life – the one where I am coming to steal your man and write him a shit hot social media strategy.

There’s a wonderful quote from Francois Nars on the NARS website; “I have a real love affair with lipstick. It gives you more power.” I couldn’t agree more. Their ‘Rita’ Audacious lipstick is the most delicious shade of oxblood red. Wearing it makes me feel like I’m wearing the blood of my enemies, like I’m a woman of substance and importance. Like I know what I am doing.