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Luxury Witch

Recently, I attended a job interview where I found myself explaining the concept of a ‘Luxury Witch’ to a rather bemused interview panel. ‘Imagine a really well dressed Goth who takes Ubers everywhere,’ I exclaimed before informing them that crushed velvet and pleated skirts were really in this season. They’re yet to let me know if I’ve been offered the job.

Whatever happens with my employment prospects, I’m deeply happy to have introduced the concept of ‘Luxury Witch’ to a wider audience. And – if this term ever appears in the Oxford English Dictionary – you’d probably find a picture of this outfit underneath it.

luxury-witch-leopard-print-coat

COAT: Marks and Spencer

ROLL NECK: Marks and Spencer

PLEATED SKIRT: Marks and Spencer

BELT: Vintage

BOOTS: Topshop

EARRINGS: Monki

roll-neck

My love of Marks and Spencer’s clothing runs deep – I will go to my grave arguing that they make the comfiest underwear on the market – and they are really knocking it out of the park this season. Their stuff is chic, reasonably priced and doesn’t fall apart after a few rounds in the washing machine (handy when you spill as much down yourself as I do). They do great everyday basics and on trend pieces like this gloriously witchy metallic midi skirt and leopard print coat, both of which look far more luxurious than their price tags would lead you to believe. Plus, M&S remains the only shop I can pop into during my lunch hour where I can purchase moisturiser, a skirt and a sandwich at the same time. What a time to be alive.

luxury-witch

In the spirit of Halloween, I opted to experiment with my eye make-up and try out a more dramatic look. I used Make Up Revolution’s ‘Fortune Favours The Brave’ palette (an absolute bargain at £9.99) to recreate this gorgeous rose gold smokey eye look. I’m a bit of a novice when it comes to eyeshadow, but this is such a lovely (and easy!) tutorial to follow. While it’s not quite as elegant as Nancy’s,  I’m super pleased about how well it turned out.

I completed the look with MAC’s ‘Roxo‘, a limited edition blood red lipstick. While this particular shade is sold out on their website, I’m fairly sure that you could find lots of lovely dupes without searching too hard.

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Barcelona Beach Baby

Much like my beloved Liverpool, Barcelona is a city with its own beach. Frankly, it would have been rude for us not to pay it a quick visit. And while I promise that this will be my last ‘hey look everyone, I went to Barcelona!’ post, I feel like I’ve saved the best outfit for last.

barcelona-jumpsuit

JUMPSUIT: ASOS Curve

BELT: ASOS Curve (old, but this is similar!)

SANDALS: ASOS

NECKLACE: Tatty Devine (old, but this one is very similar!)

EARRINGS: Oliver Bonas

I’m mildly annoyed that I wasn’t able to take a killer outfit pic while I was wearing this jumpsuit because I love it so much. It looks like something I’d find being sold in Whistles, a store whose items I frequently lament over. (Seriously Whistles, extend your sizes and I will become one of your most devoted customers.) It’s loose and flowing, and the colours are gorgeous. The only – minor – quibble I have with it is that I wish it had a tie belt to define the waist, but this is more down to the way I’m shaped rather than any fatal design flaw.

barcelona-poseur

It’s my blog and I’ll pull a stupid face if I want to.

I so wish that more plus sized designers would create modern, vibrant pieces like this instead of thinking that we’re content with twee frills and bows, boxy shapeless tents and ‘cold shoulders’. (We may be fat, but don’t we deserve to have warm shoulders too? Do you know much it rains in the UK?)

barcelona-charlotte-tilbury-highlighter

I know that this has become a bit of a Charlotte Tilbury fan blog, but I’m in awe of how good her dreamy glow highlighter made me look. One quick swish of this stuff turned me into a golden glowing goddess, despite three days of late nights, giant gins and salty snacks.

The packaging is also divine, featuring a gorgeous picture of Carmen dell’Orefice shot by Norman Parkinson for Vogue, in the Bahamas. Norman Parkinson is one of my favourite fashion photographers, so I’ll be cherishing this compact long after the highlighter powder has run out. Sadly, this was limited edition, so isn’t being stocked by Charlotte Tilbury anymore. However, I’d seriously recommend taking a nosy around Ebay and seeing if you can snap one up. It’s that good.

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Who wears short shorts?

I’ve been back in the UK for a week and my holiday feels like it was a very long time ago. But that isn’t going to stop me posting another Barcelona outfit. I’m not really one for shorts, preferring to waft around in floaty skirts and dresses when it’s warm outside. When I was a kid in the early 90s, I loved stomping around in shorts and Doc Marten boots, much to the horror of my parents who were always convinced that I’d end up getting some extremely localised foot sunstroke (although I’m yet to discover a medical affliction caused by stomping around seaside resorts while looking like a mini Tank Girl.)

Of course, now I am all grown up and sensible, you’d never find me conducting myself in such a manner. After all, why stomp around in Doc Martens when you can stomp around in silver sandals?

Fronting

SUNGLASSES: ASOS (The ones I’m wearing here are out of stock, but these are very similar)

NECKLACE: Meri Meri

EARRINGS: Mango

T-SHIRT: Junarose

SHORTS: ASOS

HANDBAG: Liquorish (old)

SHOES: ASOS

Yup, that is my stomach outline that you can see through those shorts, and pretty magnificent it is too. I felt slightly self conscious about it when I first wore these but after five minutes, I discovered that they were so comfy (and cute) that it didn’t really matter.

Side Eye

While they’re fairly true to size, the waist is elasticated, meaning that they’ve got a bit of give to them. I also managed to wear them for an extended period of time without getting the dreaded chub rub – no mean feat when you’re doing lots of walking. This is the second summer holiday I’ve taken these on this year and they’re as good for lounging around on a beach as they are for wandering around European cities.

Unfortunately, as I was writing this blog post, these shorts sold out (how inconsiderate!) If you’re interested in them, I’d recommend hanging around the ASOS website to see if there are any returns in your size, or investing in this equally lovely pair.

Palm leaves and pineapples

I’ve just discovered Mango’s excellent range of jewellery and picked up these lovely – and remarkably inexpensive – earrings in their recent sale. I definitely recommend taking a look at their stuff if you fancy nabbing an office wear friendly bargain.

 

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A Shift of Opinion

As I mentioned in my last post, I went to Barcelona for my wedding anniversary last week. Barcelona has quickly become one of my favourite European cities, mainly because it contains a beach, glorious architecture, incredible art, stunning food and Gin & Tonics as large as a small child’s head. I’ve not had the easiest year for a number of reasons, but on Saturday night I sat in a Absinthe bar which looked like something Hemmingway would have passed out in, laughing at stupid jokes with Mr. McMc and felt a perfect happiness, the likes of which I haven’t felt in a long time. I’m already planning my return trip.

Unsurprisingly, I also wore some really good outfits. Like this simple shift dress from New Look.

Barcelona - shift dress with sunglasses

SUNGLASSES: ASOS (The ones I’m wearing here are out of stock, but these are very similar)

NECKLACE: Monki

EARRINGS: And Other Stories

DRESS: New Look

HANDBAG: Liquorish (old)

SHOES: ASOS

2016 has been the year where I break arbitrary fat girl fashion rules (e.g. ‘don’t get your arms out!’ and ‘always cinch your waist!’) and while this shift dress may look simple, it packs a real punch in the looks department. It’s so simple that you can dress it up or down any way you like. I decided to keep it simple(ish), pairing it with some metallic accessories and a killer red lipstick. Unfortunately, I didn’t manage to get any pictures of its lovely cut out back design, which gives it a bit more pizazz than your average plain back shift dress.

Barcelona - shift dress without sunglasses

ASOS shoes don’t have the best reputation in my house, owing to the fact that I do so much walking (and have such heavy feet) that I tend to wear through them in record time. I’m actually shocked that these flat sandals held up as well as they did seeing that we were walking around eight miles a day – albeit with the occasional beer and tapas break.

Barcelona - Sephora Red

I also discovered that Spain has branches of Sephora, which I was drawn to like a moth is drawn to a flame (coloured lipstick). I only meant to buy some hand wash, but came out with a hand wash, three TonyMoly face masks, a Marc Jacobs eyeliner and this incredible ‘always red’ Cream Lip Stain which does not come off. In the interests of beauty blogger ‘research’, I tested its resilience with kissing, boozing and eating and it barely flaked. Once again, I am cursing the fact that we no longer have Sephora’s in the UK. Although saying that, it’s probably a good thing, as if we did there’s a strong likelihood I’d end up bankrupt.

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Put a scarf on it

I love scarves. My house is littered with them and I’m always thinking of ways I can incorporate them into my outfits. Now I’ve (finally) gone and bought myself a new pair of jeans, I’ve reverted back to my standard uniform of jeans, t-shirt and a jewel coloured scarf draped around my neck. It’s a chic and colourful combo, although I do worry that if I tie my scarf the wrong way I’ll look like a cowgirl on her way to the rodeo.

Put a scarf on it

COAT: Marks and Spencer

T-SHIRT: ASOS Curve

SCARF: Vintage

JEANS: Marks and Spencer

BOOTS: Topshop

EARRINGS: Topshop

TOTE BAG: Verso 

Side eye

I hate jeans. Which is a bold thing to say when I consider them to be a staple item in my wardrobe. But no other item of clothing makes me feel as depressed as jeans do. Very few fit my body shape to my liking, usually being too tight around my thighs and too loose around my hips and butt. However, I think I’ve finally cracked it with these jeggings from Marks and Spencer. Jeggings may be one of the worst portmanteau words in the clothing lexicon, but I’ll forgive these because they’re ridiculously comfortable and fit like a dream. Plus, they look great worn with these gorgeous boots from Topshop which are also way comfier than they look. Any shoe which can cushion my feet from the mean Mancunian streets is a sure fire winner.

Glowing

I had a bit of a moment in MAC over Easter when I saw their stunning Charlotte Olympia collection. Somehow I managed not to buy all of it, limiting myself to an eyeshadow brush, a gold cream eyeshadow and this gorgeous matte lipstick in Retro Rouge. It’s a browner, deeper red than I usually wear, but I love how it really brings out the blue and green in my eyes. I added a sweep of Topshop’s Chameleon highlighter across my cheeks for that whole ‘cherub sent down from heaven’ look I’ve been so fond of recently.

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Be Bold

Is there some sort of jumpsuit helpline I can call? I only ask because I’ve gone and bought another one of the things. Although looking at it, can you really blame me?

Full body shot 1

JUMPSUIT: Pink Clove

BOOTS: Vintage

NECKLACE: Gogo Philip

EARRINGS: Black Heart Creatives

Maybe it’s because I left it too long (January payday elicited this reaction from me) but I’ve been really disappointed in the sales this year. Every thing I’ve found is either fugly, fussy or not in my size. So – if you’ll pardon the pun – I jumped for joy when I saw this brilliant 1970s inspired jumpsuit. In a world where plus sized women are told that they shouldn’t wear big, attention grabbing prints, it feels so daring. I look like I’m coming to steal your man and drag him back to my Abigail’s Party themed love nest.

Full body shot 2

This is the second Pink Clove jumpsuit I’ve bought recently, and it probably won’t be my last. It’s a great fit with plenty of stretch, particularly around the boobs and shoulders (I know I keep saying it, but there’s nothing worse than trying to wriggle your way out of a poorly designed garment when you’re desperate for a wee.) The wide legs mean you’re best off wearing heels rather than flats so you’re not constantly tripping over yourself. I can totally imagine wearing this on the Cote d’Azur back in the day and being the height of fashion. 

The best thing about this jumpsuit though? It’s currently on sale for £12. I’ve bought snack foods more expensive than that.

1975 Red

I’ve been so miserable about my face over the past few weeks. The January weather has done a real number on it, meaning I’ve been riddled with gigantic spots, dry skin and eczema, particularly around the eye area. It’s taken a lot of work, face masks and various other moisturising potions, but I finally feel as though I’ve turned a corner. While I don’t think that selfies should only be shared when you’re looking 100%, I’m thrilled with how good my skin looks here, particularly when complemented by a dash of Charlotte Tilbury’s 1975 Red lipstick.  Here’s hoping that February is kinder to all of us manky skin sufferers!

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The return of the Fat White Duke

I don’t wish to speak too rashly, but I believe that this Pink Clove jumpsuit may be the perfect jumpsuit. It’s chic, comfy and can be worn to every event going (important work meetings, walking through the snow while listening to David Bowie or just dates where you just sit around with your mates eating massive grilled cheese sandwiches.) Best of all, it doesn’t have a zipper meaning you don’t have to dislocate your shoulder trying to unzip the bloody thing when you need a wee. Trust me, when you have a tiny bladder and like to stay hydrated, these things are important.

Work pyjamas

JUMPSUIT: Pink Clove

BELT: Little Mistress (taken from this jumpsuit)

SHOES: ASOS (out of stock, but these are similar)

EARRINGS: Black Heart Creatives

LIPSTICK: MAC Dita Von Teese Red

Oh look it's my kitchen

I’ve seen a similar ASOS Curve version of this on Bethany and Charlotte, and admired how they’d dressed it up to suit their own unique styles. My current favourite way to wear this is with a big belt, big earrings and some silver brogues. However, I also think it would be equally as good with a statement necklace and a pair of heels. Its simplicity makes it incredibly versatile.

The best part about it though is the fit. It’s true to size with just enough stretch, meaning you can slip in and out of it in a trice. I’m 5ft 7 and the pant leg fits perfectly. The crotch doesn’t sag and it makes my arse look amazing. A friend recently described it as looking like a cross between a tuxedo and ‘work pyjamas,’ which is pretty accurate.

BHC earrings

I commissioned Black Heart Creatives to make me some (very silly and ostentatious) palm tree earrings last year which go perfectly with this outfit. They make me feel like Bootle’s answer to Pat Butcher which – in my opinion – is a strong look for 2016.

 

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