Galentines

I spent last weekend in London hanging out in old haunts, spending too much money in Monki and having a rather debauched time. Saturday also happened to be Galentine’s Day which I spent in the company of some amazing women. We drank tea, we ate dumplings and steak and ran around Liberty’s trying on some ridiculous sunglasses. It reminded me of just how much  I appreciate the fantastic femmes in my life, and how lucky I am to be blessed with such a remarkable group of friends.

Knowing that I was going to be spending the day running around London with a belly full of booze, I wanted to wear something comfortable yet chic and this ASOS shirt dress did the job admirably. It’s cotton which makes it super soft and snuggly – something which is very much appreciated when your arms contain both eczema and a new tattoo.

COAT: ASOS Curve

SHIRT DRESS: ASOS Curve

LEGGINGS: ASOS Curve

SHOES: Dr Martens

I desperately wanted to buy this shirt dress in black, but – alas – it wasn’t to be. It’s a minor miracle that I managed to go a whole day without dumping coffee down the front of it. Knowing my (lack of) motor skills, this will probably be the only time I get to say that.

This was also a weekend where I really really appreciated my Dr. Martens. They are the comfiest shoes I’ve ever worn and worth every penny, particularly when you’re heading off on long walks. As much as I would love to spend my days striding around in heels, I am old and my feet get tired much sooner than I’d like them too. Therefore, I will always appreciate shoes which combine style and comfort.

I have been longing for this Tatty Devine dream phone necklace for months so when I saw it was reduced in the January Sales I was in there like a shot. It is an utterly fantastic piece of jewellery – cute, clever and unique. Sadly, it’s out of stock now but I totally recommend heading over to their website and seeing all the other incredible pieces they have there!

Competition time! Win a copy of Meera Sodha’s ‘Made in India, Cooked in Britain’

I adore Christmas for many reasons – long lie ins, crap TV and not having to get dressed unless it’s strictly necessary. But mostly it’s because I love receiving presents and cooking up a storm in my tiny Merseyside kitchen. So, I was over the moon when the lovely people at Penguin Random House sent me two recipe books as a lovely festive gift. One of them was The Happy Pear, a book full of vegetarian recipes which I’ll be squirreling away until the New Year when I’ll (probably) be in the grips of a resolution to eat more vegetables. And the other was Meera Sodha’s incredible ‘Made in India. Cooked in Britain: Recipes from an Indian Family Kitchen,’ which is full of delicious, easy to follow Indian recipes.

I’ve taken ‘Made in India…’ out of my local library so many times over the past year that I’ve lost count. It’s a gem of a cookbook which dazzles the senses with pretty pictures, beautifully written prose and mouthwatering recipes. (The Coriander Chutney Chicken is a favourite in our house – it’s fresh, quick and a great way to use up that huge bunch of coriander moldering away at the bottom of your veg drawer.)

As a lovely little Christmas present, I’m giving away a copy of ‘Made in India…’ to one lucky reader. To enter, all you need to do is leave a comment telling me which dish you’re most looking forward to scoffing this Christmas. Perhaps it’s pigs in blankets? Or a whole baked Camembert? Maybe you’re one of those people who will be taking to their bed with a family sized Tiramisu once you finish work for the festive season.  No matter how big or small, there’s no judgement here.

The competition closes at 12pm 5pm on Friday 18th December and I’ll endeavor to get this sent out on Monday 21st so it reaches you before Christmas. Unfortunately, this competition is only open to readers in the UK and Ireland. Sorry folks!

Good luck and may all your Christmases be filled with half price M&S party food selections.

 

 

 

Take good care of yourself: some thoughts on mental health & self care

I’m not very comfortable with publicly discussing my mental health. So, the irony of writing a whole blog post about it is not lost on me. I’ve suffered from depression and anxiety since I was 14, but – bar a nervous breakdown when I was 21, and a rather bad episode when I was 25 – I’ve managed to deal with it relatively well. I have a good job. I have a great relationship. I earn enough money to do all the things I want to do with my life. Moaning about my own experiences of anxiety just feels a bit privileged when there are others out there with real issues to worry about.

However, I’ve had a few blips recently. Blame it on the changing seasons, my new job and the sheer exhaustion born out of a daily cross city commute, but I feel as though I haven’t been thriving as hard as I could be. I’ve spent days worrying that everyone I know and love hates me, or that I’ve made some catastrophic fuck up at work which means everyone thinks I’m useless. There’s been a lot of paranoia and breathing exercises in disabled toilets. It hasn’t been much fun.

One of my favourite podcasts is Another Round. I love it because it’s funny, it’s honest and provides so much excellent life advice (not least ‘drink more water’ and ‘call your mum’.) The two hosts – Heben and Tracey – are open about their depression and anxiety issues, and how they deal with these. Most importantly, the advice they give is never patronising. It just is what it is, two good friends exchanging coping strategies on how to navigate the world when your brain doesn’t want to play ball.

A topic they frequently discuss is ‘self care,’ which is something I’ve been thinking a lot about. Self care is, simply, the things you do to take care of yourself when you’re tired, or feeling low. They are the strategies you put in place to protect yourself. I practice it so I have the strength to keep doing all the things which I know I’m good at, and which make me feel better about myself, my abilities and my place in the world. Some days, it will be something like attending a yoga class after work, and on others it will be something as simple as remembering to perform my cleansing routine and brush my teeth before bed (which is a big deal when I’m so tired I can barely remember my own name.)

A glamorous work selfie. Because this blog post would be pointless without a gratuitous picture of my face.

I think that there’s a lot of misapprehension about self care. It can sometimes be misread as being all about vanity or consumption. (And there’s a whole other conversation to be had about why neither of those things are necessarily negative.) Plus, a lot of discussions about it on the internet (or at least the internet spaces I frequent) can sometimes read as over thought and strung out. It’s great hearing about how a Brooklyn based beauty writer or the lead singer in a band practices it, but their life experiences can often feel vastly different from mine and the people I know. ‘Why should I listen to some hipster reminding me to wash my face?’ as I once saw someone comment.

But at the same time, I don’t think that a lot of us are particularly good at practicing self care. It takes time and effort, both things which are in short supply when you’re just trying to get through the day. I try and put aside a little time each day which I can commit to doing things which will make me feel better about myself, and just silence my brain for a bit. Often, this will involve going for a lunch time walk near my office, visiting the library or sitting in a cafe and reading a good book. At other times, it will be something like buying a lipstick, applying a face mask, listening to the football in the bath (one of my favourite weekend activities) or taking some selfies to remind myself that I’m of worth and my eyebags really aren’t as bad as I think they are.

I’m also an advocate for stepping away from the internet for a bit when it all gets too much. I love social media more than words can say, but it can be emotionally exhausting. Switching off the thing I do for fun (but which is also my job) allows me to get some valuable breathing space. After all, sometimes it’s OK not to have an opinion on everything.

It’s vitally important that women have discussions on how to take care of themselves in a world which often feels antagonistic and cruel. But I’d also like to see these discussions taken out of rarefied spaces. I’d be really interested in hearing how you practice self care, and what it means to you.