Tokyo, baby!

If you follow me on the Twitter.com, you’ll have seen that I was in Tokyo earlier this month. And if you don’t follow me, then let it be known that I was in Tokyo earlier this month and it’s now become one of my favourite cities. Much as I love the countryside, big fields and wide open skies, my heart belongs to skyscrapers and metropolitan hustle bustle, which are things which Tokyo has in spades.

We stayed in Shibuya which meant I got to walk across (and occasionally lose my husband in) the world famous crossing every day while we were there. We also explored the neon wonderland which is Shinjuku, saw someone driving around Harijuku in a soft top blasting out ‘Since Yesterday’ by Strawberry Switchblade and ate extremely fancy chiffon cake in Ginza while listening to yacht rock.  And that’s before I go into detail about all the incredible food we ate, highballs we drank, skincare we* (*I) bought and karaoke classics we murdered. It truly is the most incredible, awe inspiring city and I’m already plotting ways to return there one day soon.

Its residents also happen to be exceptionally stylish. So it would have just been rude if I didn’t bring my clothing A-game to the city too.

LEATHER JACKET: River Island Plus (size up if you have big boobs!)

SHIRT DRESS: Universal Standard

TIGHTS: Heist

SHOES: Kin by John Lewis

NECKLACE: Tatty Devine

I love it when a good outfit comes together and this shirt dress from Universal Standard provides the perfect, casual canvas to build a look around. It may not look like much, but take my word for it, it is gorgeous. Everything from the colour to the tulip shape to the person who designed it is extremely my jam. I’m wearing a Medium (US size 18 – 20/UK size 20 – 22) here and it fit perfectly with just enough stretch to cover my boobs with minimal gaping. Universal Standard are an American plus size brand who I absolutely adore and who I would order much much more from if my order hadn’t been hammered by customs charges (I had to pay an eye watering £30 to get my package, so if you do buy anything from them, I’d suggest seducing someone who works for the Post Office.)

I have – as much as it pains me to admit – also become a fully paid up member of the Heist tights club. Let it be known, these bad boys are not cheap. (I actually cried when I laddered my first pair during a drunken night on the town). However, they are the first tights I’ve worn in a long time which a) don’t fall down over my fat ass and hips and which b) I can run for a bus in. If you’re a fellow chub who’s fed up of wearing cycling shorts over their ill fitting M&S 80 denier specials, I can’t recommend these enough. Just make sure you’re super careful when you’re whipping them down to take a whizz.

If you thought I wasn’t going to conclude this post with a selfie, then you would be badly mistaken my friends. This picture combines three of my current loves – Charlotte Tilbury’s gorgeous ‘Secret Salma’ lipstick from her ‘Hot Lips’ collection (which – trust me on this one – goes with everything), my new favourite Tatty Devine planet necklace and a fantastic grumpy cloud badge which I received from 3 of Cups Press as part of their ‘On Anxiety’ anthology. As an aside, an essay of mine all about my boobs will be featured in their next book, ‘On Bodies’, which is currently raising money via Kickstarter. So, if you like my writing (and my tits), you should definitely hop over there and pledge some sweet sweet cash towards it.

Feeling Myself

Things are still bad. But they are getting better.

I went to my wonderful hairdressers on Tuesday with the intention of getting my roots done. Seven and a half (!!) hours later, I walked out with bright turquoise hair. It is one of most daring, frivolous things I’ve ever done and I absolutely adore it. After a long year which hasn’t had many fun moments in it, doing something completely and utterly ridiculous just for myself feels remarkably liberating. It also happens to really suit me. Which helps.

I’ve had a number of people ask me where I bought this (glorious) shirt dress from since posting this selfie. While it looks as though it should come from somewhere like Monki, it’s actually from Marks and Spencer. The print is bold and vibrant, the fit is just on the right side of generous and you’ll always get a compliment when you’re wearing it. It’s still in stock at the moment and worth every single penny of its £39.50 price tag.

HEAD SCARF: Karen Mabon

EARRINGS: Topshop

DRESS: Monki

JACKET: ASOS Curve (old)

NECKLACE: Oliver Bonas

SANDALS: New Look

Speaking of Monki, I am 100% in love with this black t-shirt dress I purchased from them recently. I love really nice, simple, well made, just-on-the-right-side-of-baggy dresses, particularly during the summer when all you want to wear is something which circulates a nice cooling breeze around your intimate parts. I was inspired to get this after seeing it on the always radiant Bethany and listening to an illuminating discussion about sack dresses on the most recent episode of Call Your Girlfriend and wore it to go and see William Basinski when he played at the Manchester International Festival last night. While reapplying my lipstick in the bathroom, I caught sight of myself in the full length mirror and – for the first time in ages – felt 100% comfortable with the way I looked. Which is something I haven’t been able to say for a while.

 

Springtime for McMc

It’s a cliche, I know but I am so so so happy that spring has arrived. Earlier this week, I walked through a sunny Kings Cross wearing stupid sunglasses and clutching my first (overpriced) iced coffee of 2017 and nearly burst into song (well, I was listening to this.) After a fairly rancid winter, I’ve been dying to flounce around in frills and bright colours and – as always – Monki have delivered in grand style.

SHIRT: Monki

SKIRT: Monki

EARRINGS: And Other Stories (old)

RING: Bloody Mary Metal

BOOTS: H&M

I’m sure that there’s some unwritten fashion rule about how larger boobed women shouldn’t wear obnoxiously bright, frilled blouses, because God knows mainstream fashion loves to penalise women/nb folks for being of a larger shape and size. But – if any of my mega titted brethren are reading this and wondering if they should invest in this shirt, allow me to reassure you that you a) totally should and b) do it now. I’m wearing a L in this picture and it more than covers my GG-size-20 chest with only the slightest bit of gaping. And even that’s alleviated if you just pull it down and fasten it securely with the waistband of a very silly printed pleated skirt.

It’s hard to see in these pictures, but the cartoon print of this skirt is an utter delight. I never knew I could be so charmed by having the word ‘LOL’ positioned directly on my crotch. Shout out to these gold H&M boots too, an utter bargain which was I was alerted to by my exceptionally fashionable friend Fong. I saw these on her shoe rack when I visited her flat recently, she informed me that she’d bought them for £10 and before you could say ‘what a bobby bargain,‘ I was the proud owner of a new pair of gold boots. Fashion enabling never looked so shiny.

I’ve been favouring heavier, darker eye make-up over the past few months and strolled into Harvey Nichols Beauty Bazaar (aka ‘my happy place’) on payday looking for something which wouldn’t clash with the pink streak in my hair. NARS came to the rescue, as they so often do. Their ‘Sugarland’ eye duo is a winning combination of apricot and orchid pink. I can see this replacing my stalwart MAC Corduroy as my everyday eyeshadow as we move into the warmer weather, although I might add a dash of glitter if I’m feeling fancy. When paired with my Tom Ford lipstick in ‘Cary’, it makes for a warm sun kissed look which makes me long for picnics in the park and lazy beer garden nights. Hiya spring. I’ve missed you.

 

A Shift of Opinion

As I mentioned in my last post, I went to Barcelona for my wedding anniversary last week. Barcelona has quickly become one of my favourite European cities, mainly because it contains a beach, glorious architecture, incredible art, stunning food and Gin & Tonics as large as a small child’s head. I’ve not had the easiest year for a number of reasons, but on Saturday night I sat in a Absinthe bar which looked like something Hemmingway would have passed out in, laughing at stupid jokes with Mr. McMc and felt a perfect happiness, the likes of which I haven’t felt in a long time. I’m already planning my return trip.

Unsurprisingly, I also wore some really good outfits. Like this simple shift dress from New Look.

SUNGLASSES: ASOS (The ones I’m wearing here are out of stock, but these are very similar)

NECKLACE: Monki

EARRINGS: And Other Stories

DRESS: New Look

HANDBAG: Liquorish (old)

SHOES: ASOS

2016 has been the year where I break arbitrary fat girl fashion rules (e.g. ‘don’t get your arms out!’ and ‘always cinch your waist!’) and while this shift dress may look simple, it packs a real punch in the looks department. It’s so simple that you can dress it up or down any way you like. I decided to keep it simple(ish), pairing it with some metallic accessories and a killer red lipstick. Unfortunately, I didn’t manage to get any pictures of its lovely cut out back design, which gives it a bit more pizazz than your average plain back shift dress.

ASOS shoes don’t have the best reputation in my house, owing to the fact that I do so much walking (and have such heavy feet) that I tend to wear through them in record time. I’m actually shocked that these flat sandals held up as well as they did seeing that we were walking around eight miles a day – albeit with the occasional beer and tapas break.

I also discovered that Spain has branches of Sephora, which I was drawn to like a moth is drawn to a flame (coloured lipstick). I only meant to buy some hand wash, but came out with a hand wash, three TonyMoly face masks, a Marc Jacobs eyeliner and this incredible ‘always red’ Cream Lip Stain which does not come off. In the interests of beauty blogger ‘research’, I tested its resilience with kissing, boozing and eating and it barely flaked. Once again, I am cursing the fact that we no longer have Sephora’s in the UK. Although saying that, it’s probably a good thing, as if we did there’s a strong likelihood I’d end up bankrupt.

Look What You Could Have Worn: Barcelona edition

 

 

ASOS jumpsuit

I’m off to Barcelona tomorrow to celebrate my wedding anniversary (four whole years!) For the first time in my adult life, I am going to attempt to pack light which is no mean feat considering I am notorious for a) leaving my packing until the last minute and b) throwing my entire wardrobe into my suitcase ‘just in case.’ ‘Just in case what?’ you might ask. Well, not even I know the answer to that question, but I am slowly trying to convince myself that a four day trip does not require me to pack 50+ lipsticks. On a more practical note, Ryanair rinsed me of cash earlier this year when my suitcase weighed way more than their allotted allowance. Something has to give, and this time, it cannot be my credit card.

To paraphrase one of my favourite memes, I intend to ‘get me some items which can do both.’ The both being outfits which will allow me to look cool and chic while exploring some of Spain’s most glorious architecture and are voluminous enough to allow me to consume my own bodyweight in cava and tapas. The ASOS minimal jumpsuit and New Look Shift Dress are both simple and chic, requiring nothing more than some simple silver jewellery, a slash of lipstick and a decent belt to make them both look exquisite. Robust, flat sandals are a must when going on holiday in a warm climate, and these ASOS Wide Fit leather sandals will go with pretty much everything.

While I realise that this is rapidly becoming a Charlotte Tilbury fan blog, her Beach Sticks deserve a mention here as they’re the perfect item to shove in your make-up bag if you’re looking for a cream blush which also works as a lipstick. Her Formentera shade is a beautifully dewy shade of rose which works really well if you have blue-green eyes like me. I’ve also been lucky enough to nab a few samples of Acqua di Parma’s new Rosa Nobile fragrance, a delicate grown-up rose fragrance which puts me in mind of warm summer nights rather than a Yardley counter.

If you’re going on holiday to celebrate the long weekend, which clothing and beauty essentials will you be taking with you? Let me know in the comments!

(From left to right)

1. Acqua di Parma Rosa Nobile – £76.00

2. Charlotte Tilbury Beach Stick in ‘Formentera’ – £30.00

3. Mango Panel Tote Bag – £15.99

4. ASOS Cat Eye Sunglasses With Built Up Highbrow – £8.00
5. And Other Stories Toga Earrings – £17.00
6. And Other Stories Medallion Pendant Necklace – £19.00
7. ASOS JUGGLER Wide Fit Leather Summer Shoes – £20.00
8. ASOS CURVE 2 Pack Cat Buckle Belt – £8.00
9. ASOS CURVE Minimal Jumpsuit in Blocked Abstract Print – £45.00
10. New Look Plus Cami Slip Dress – £19.99

Candy Stripes

The weather has been absolutely glorious in Liverpool recently, so Mr. McMc and I decided to make the most of it by getting out of the house and soaking up some sunshine. On Sunday, we went to see the (incredible) Francis Bacon ‘invisible rooms’ exhibition at Tate Liverpool, followed by a long walk by the River Mersey and a pint in The Baltic Fleet – possibly the only pub I’ve ever found which has a sea shanties night every Saturday.

Good weather doesn’t tend to last long in this part of the world, so I used it as an excuse to finally throw out the tights and break out the summer dresses, like this glorious ice cream striped rockabilly shirt dress from Lindy Bop.

The colours of this dress remind me of the seaside, 99 ice creams with raspberry sauce and neon pink sticks of Blackpool rock. One thing to note is that it is quite tight around the bust, particularly with the buttons, so you might need to size up if (like me) you’re blessed with rather large boobs.

I teamed this outfit with a delightful pom-pom studded wicker bag that I found in Primark (!!) which will be just the thing to cart my stuff around in when I go on holiday in a fortnight.

SUNGLASSES: Monki

DRESS: Lindy Bop

CARDIGAN: Collectif (old)

BAG: Primark

SHOES: Primark

EARRINGS: Topshop

NECKLACE: Tatty Devine (old)

I’ve really gotten into NYX’s soft matte lip creams recently as they’re a relatively cheap way to try out bold, bright colours. They’ve got pretty decent staying power and don’t crack as they dry (which is more than can be said for other budget brands I’ve tried.) I’m wearing San Paulo here which is a gloriously vibrant shade of pink and which I know will be great for summer.

Chub Tropicana

Weddings are awesome. Well, all the ones I’ve ever been to have been awesome at least. Earlier this month, my excellent friends Michael and Francesca got married at Brockwell Lido, and it was an utterly perfect day. The sun shone, the booze flowed, there was a mariachi band, my best friend and I danced in a remarkably ’emotional’ way to ‘Yes’ by McAlmont & Butler and everyone looked fantastic.

I thought I scrubbed up pretty well considering that less than twelve hours before, I was crying uncontrollably while drinking prosecco out of a pint glass (it was my last day at my old job – there were mitigating circumstances!)

DRESS: Paperdolls at Simply Be

SHOES: Primark

EARRINGS: Topshop

SUNGLASSES: Topshop

LIPSTICK: All Fired Up by MAC

Lets all take a moment to appreciate this gorgeous dress from Simply Be because I very nearly didn’t buy it. I’d originally opted to go with something from ASOS until – horror of horrors! – they sent me the wrong item. By the time they’d realised their mistake, the dress I wanted was out of stock. As it turned out, I was quite happy that ASOS screwed up, because this dress is a real stunner. The floral pattern is bright, bold and beautiful, it shows the perfect amount of cleavage, and it clings to all the right places. Plus, it’s stretchy enough to allow you to throw yourself around on a dance floor, which should be a key attribute of any good wedding outfit.

What I like most about this outfit though is that I look very visibly chubby around the middle – even though I was wearing some pretty heavy duty shape wear. A few years ago, this would have depressed me mightily (‘I spent all that money on Spanx and I don’t have a flat stomach?’) I’m not going to lie and say that I’m 100% comfortable with it, but when I look at these pictures now, I see a happy confident fat woman wearing a fantastic dress. (And, may I add, looking pretty good while doing it.) That new found appreciation of my body – as an ally I should take care of rather than a foe to be defeated – means far more to me than a bit of pudge and a double chin.

Living that 24/7 selfie life with Mr. McMc

Look What You Could Have Worn: Emerald Street’s White Dresses

When you’re a fat woman, you soon come to realise that a lot of women’s media isn’t for you. On the outside, it looks inclusive, with its talk of wonderful books to read, delicious recipes to cook and expensive accessories to buy. But dig a bit deeper and you soon see that it’s designed with a very different (by which I mean ‘thinner’) woman in mind.

I snapped yesterday after seeing an email from Emerald Street which included details of five gorgeous white dresses, none of which I could buy because none of them went over a size 16. For a women’s media outlet designed to appeal to my demographic, they appear to be very reluctant to feature anything that a plus sized women can wear. I asked them about it, and I’m still waiting for a response. I’m not singling out Emerald Street here –  I’ve lost count of the amount of clothing edits I’ve seen on major women’s websites recently which don’t feature one item from a plus sized retailer, or an item which goes goes over a size 18. But it all feels incredibly exclusionary – and more than a little depressing.

Fat women aren’t some kind of homogeneous blob which you can appease with the occasional patronising article about how ‘fashionable’ we are. We want to be stylish and wear nice things, and lord knows that many of us are able to spend just as much on clothes as our thinner counterparts. So, inspired by other plus sized campaigns like Debz’s fantastic #hereswhatiwouldhavespent, I’ve decided that every time I see a list of clothing on a women’s website which doesn’t feature one plus sized option, I’ll put my own pick together. And, because I love a good Bullseye reference, I’d call it ‘Look what you could have worn.” In homage to Emerald Street, here’s five of my favourite plus sized white dresses.

Alice & You Lace Maxi Dress (£50.00)

You’d be right to exercise a fair amount of caution when you see the words ‘lace’ and ‘maxi dress’ together in a sentence. Get it right, and you look floaty, feminine and ethereal. Get it wrong, and you’ll end up looking like you’re wearing your Nan’s net curtains. This gorgeous dress is lightweight and casual, and the perfect thing for summer. You could easily wear this down to the beach, or to a wedding. The stretch waistband and v-neck neckline is great if (like me) you’ve got mega-boobs, providing enough stretch to keep them at bay, while showing just enough cleavage.

 ASOS CURVE Bodycon Dress With Mesh inserts (£30.00)

ASOS are the masters of bodycon dresses, and I love everything about this. It’s crisp, clean and minimal, meaning it can be styled as simply (or as OTT) as you like. You can jazz it up with a big statement necklace and heels, or with a pair of chic little sandals. It would also make a great summer dress to wear to the office (just try not to spill coffee down it on the train into work.)

Carmakoma Jersey Layered Babydoll Dress (£75.00)

Danish brand Carmakoma specialise in creating beautiful, minimal clothing and I love the unique shape of this Babydoll dress. It’s almost-but-not-quite a peplum, with a really interesting geometric design. If you’re not keen on the idea of getting your arms out, I’d recommend keeping it simple, and pairing it with a simple tailored blazer or leather jacket.

Evans Collection Ivory Embellished Shoulder Layer Dress (£55.00)

Evans doesn’t always get it right, but when it does, it can produce some really beautiful items of clothing. This is from their Design Collective collection, which is comprised of more ‘fashion forward’ pieces than its usual array of ditsy dresses and butterfly prints. Just looking at this dress makes me think of summer holidays and sipping cocktails on a beach somewhere. The jewel embellishments on the shoulders add a nice bit of bling, meaning you can keep it simple with the accessories. I’d wear this with nothing more than a (big) pair of sunglasses and some sandals. If you’re not as comfortable with the idea of getting your legs out, it would also look great worn over a pair of black leggings.

Modcloth ‘Tea’s Company’ Dress ($104.99/£68.72)

One of the best things about Modcloth is its inclusiveness – most dresses listed on there are suitable for all shapes and sizes. The price of shipping to the UK can be a bit of a pain in the neck, which is why I’d recommend teaming together with some friends so you can buy a few items at once and split the cost between you all. I love everything about this Bettie Page dress, from the simple 1940s inspired neckline, to the subtle polkadot print of the fabric. It’s so wonderfully femme, and would be the perfect thing to wear to a summer wedding (hey, it would even make a good wedding dress if that’s your thing.)

Do you have a favourite white dress that you’re thinking of wearing this summer? Let me know in the comments!