Look what you could have worn: The Guardian’s gold edit

Oh the Guardian. I expected so much more from you. Granted, I am not the first person to say this. Nor will I be the last. But, as someone who has written about fat issues for them in the past, I can’t help but feel disappointed when I look through their fashion section and see nothing plus sized featured. Granted, they’re great at doing the occasional piece on fat fashion when it suits them, but I do feel annoyed when I look through their fashion section and see (practically) nothing there that I can wear. This is a fault of pretty much all traditional fashion media, but I do wish they’d realise that it’s not enough to pay lip service to fats when it suits you to do so.

However, I live in hope. And it’s the hope that kills you. So, when I saw the Guardian’s listicle of the 10 of the best gold pieces on the high street, I wanted to believe that I’d see an item of clothing which I may actually be able to wear. While they kind of met that expectation (more on that below), they could still do better.

I love gold items because I am a gaudy magpie who is attracted to anything that shimmers. If that item also happens to be covered in sequins, even better. Happily for me, there are some amazing gold plus sized items out there at the moment. Here’s five of my favourites. And, Guardian fashion editors, if you ever need someone to do a plus sized edit for you, drop me a line. (Seriously, I could use the money.)

Elvi Prima Champagne Quilted Skirt – £79.00

A quilted gold skirt? Be still my beating heart. This is such a deliciously luxury bitch item that it begs to be worn while you sip champagne and nibble on a canape. I love how Elvi have styled this on their website, and would totally wear that entire outfit to a chic Autumnal soirée. Alternatively, dazzle your colleagues on a grey Tuesday morning by sweeping in wearing it with a black roll neck, 120 denier tights and brogues.

Elena Miro Sequin Embellished Sweater – £181.90

I’ve spent a lot of time browsing navabi recently. While their items are more expensive than your average plus sized retailer, they’re all of exceptional quality. And I’d rather pay more for an item that I know will last years, rather than one which will self destruct after a few wears. Which brings us to this beauty. Speaking as someone who has problems with jumpers riding up and flashing her belly, I love the length of this, as well as the big sequinned polka dots. I could totally see myself wearing this with a leather pencil skirt.

Simply Be Sequin Top – £45.00

This is totally the top you’d wear to a Christmas party, but hey, there’s nothing wrong with that. (Better that than spending over £100 on a fancy dress outfit you’ll only wear once.) I’d pair this with wet look leggings and pointed gold heels. And maybe some tinsel.

Joanna Hope Sequin Dress – £65.00

This dress is my everything, and so much more. Everything about it is perfect, from its slinky shape to it being entirely covered in shimmering gold sequins. Yes, it would probably scratch the crap out of you, but I’d say it’s a price worth paying to wear something which makes you look like a gloriously chubby Oscar statuette.

Monki Frida Glitter Kimono – £40.00

In the interests of fairness, I should mention that this kimono was featured in the Guardian’s piece. But, seeing as many Monki items can be worn by us chubs, I couldn’t resist featuring it here too. I love how interesting this piece is, all rippling shimmers. I’d wear it with some skinny ripped jeans, a black t-shirt and some Doc Martens, but it’s so versatile that I could imagine it being styled a number of different ways. It’s definitely going on my wish list.

Will you be wearing gold this Autumn? Which piece is your favourite? Let me know in the comments!

Let’s talk coats

The Autumn equinox has been and gone, so it’s safe to say that we’re now in coat season. This is no bad thing, because coats are awesome. There are few greater pleasures than snuggling down into a warm coat on a cold day. I see them as being the final element of a really good outfit – that killer piece that can turn an ensemble from meh to wow.  

As you can probably tell, I own a lot of coats. So many in fact, that I had to get the door I was hanging them on rehung because their combined weight had caused it to come off its hinges. I should probably keep my joiner (and my bank) on speed dial considering that I’ve seen many more beautiful coats this season that I can’t wait to get my chubby little hands on. Here are five of my favourites.

ASOS CURVE Midi Coat with Faux Fur Collar – £100

I was a teenager in the late 1990s, and spent most of that period swathed in fake fur and glitter. So, naturally, I love this coat. It looks like something my 15 year old self would throw on before heading out to a Suede gig. ASOS are masters of rich, red Autumnal tones and the colour of this is absolutely divine. And then, there’s that collar. It’s so unapologetically, obnoxiously huge. To paraphrase Mean Girls, I bet it’s full of secrets.

Marks & Spencer Double Face Unstructured Coat with Wool – £69.00

Marks and Spencer are absolutely killing it this season. I went into their Manchester branch recently with my sister, and we spent an alarming amount of time running around squealing at all the beautiful items on their shelves. One of the stand out pieces was this duster coat. I’m always slightly wary of duster coats. They look so good on other people, but they always hang oddly on my body and make me look bulky. However, I bought this little number the other day, and it’s fantastic. It’s incredibly elegant and – best of all for a pack horse like me – has really deep pockets for you to keep all your crap in. It’s the perfect thing to wear to work, as it goes so well over a simple, neutral outfit.

Persona by Marina Rinaldi Short Checkered Wool Blend Coat – £298.00

I need someone to give me lots of money so I can buy this. I mean, look at it. It is such a good shape, and you just know that wearing it is going to be incredibly comforting. It’s a proper business bitch coat, a piece to wear when you’re striding through the city looking and feeling like your best self. Best of all, you can dress it up or down – I’d imagine that it looks just as good worn with a pair of jeans as it would with a pencil skirt and roll neck (my Autumn/Winter 2015 uniform.)

Simply Be Padded Fur Trim Hooded Coat – £55.00

I’ve been really disappointed by coats I’ve bought from Simply Be in the past, but I may give them a second chance for this one. It’s a little more casual than the kind of thing I’d usually wear, but that’s no bad thing. I can imagine throwing it on before going for a long walk on the beach near my house, or when I just want something to wear with some jeans and a massive jumper. And we all need a fur trimmed hood to hide in when life gets on top of us.

Studio 8 Nicole Mac – £135.00

I fell in love with this coat when I saw Bethany wearing it. I’ve been looking for the perfect mac for ages, and this fits the bill. It is just so chic. I’ve found a lot of mackintoshes difficult to wear, as when I do them up, they give me the dreaded ‘shelf tit’ effect. However, this one appears to have been designed with busty girls like myself in mind. Unfortunately though, it only comes in white which is a bit of a nightmare for someone like me who just delights in tipping food/coffee/croissant crumbs down herself.

What coat are you currently coveting? Let me know in the comments!

Look What You Could Have Worn: Elle’s long dresses edit

So, I’ll admit that I was slightly taken aback by how well received the last ‘Look What You Could Have Worn’ was. While Emerald Street never did respond to my questions as to why they didn’t add plus sized options to their clothing picks (Hiya guys!) it made me even more determined in my goal to show that fat women want a more size inclusive media. While I love seeing fashion editorials in magazines aimed towards the plus sized community (such as Slink and Volup2), I don’t want our clothing, politics and style to just be shoved away into one corner of the internet.

Which brings me to Elle. I rarely read Elle, because it is a magazine which is very much not aimed at (fat) women like me. I’ve always viewed it as being one of those media outlets which will occasionally pay lip service to plus sized women by featuring a size 18 model every now and then (always toned, and always with a flat stomach of course), but never shows us clothes which we can actually wear. But, this month they were giving away an ASOS 20% gift card with every issue, and I am a sucker for discounted pencil skirts and heeled sandals and…I think you know where this is going.

There’s a great editorial in there showing a number of ways to style long dresses (page 158 – 162 if you’re interested.) Longer, 70s-style dresses look set to be a huge trend this Autumn/Winter season, and I for one cannot wait to float around in them while pretending to be Stevie Nicks. Here’s five of my favourites.

Alice & You Patchwork Print Lace Up Maxi Dress (£42.00)

This dress is like a magic eye picture. When I first saw it, I thought it was hideous. But the more I look at it, the more I like it. It’s a great mix of different types of print, and as 70s as a glam rock record. However, this is an item which could very easily veer into fancy dress territory, so I’d wear it with simple accessories and a pair of ankle boots, otherwise it could look a little OTT.

ASOS Curve Maxi Dress in Knitted 70’s Chevron (£42.00)

This looks like something my (remarkably stylish) Mum would have worn around Florida in the 70s. It’s casual enough to wear to work, but dressy enough to wear out to dinner afterwards. I’d team this with a belted long-line coat and heeled sandals (or a pair of wooden clogs.) Elle says that wearing ankle-tie sandals will help draw attention to your lovely slim ankles, but if people are looking at those instead of you while you’re wearing this dress, tell them to shove off.

Monki Ilva Dress (£30.00)

While Monki doesn’t do a plus-sized range, their sizing is remarkably generous and their larger sizes tend to easily fit us chubs. I’m a huge fan of their clothing, and this is my favourite dress of the bunch. It’s less dressy than the others, but I love the shape and the pattern is superb. It’s the kind of casual dress I’d throw on with a pair of brogues or Dr. Martens before heading out to the pub.

Modcloth Fiore Your Entertainment in Flora ($99.00/£63.00)

Modcloth’s stuff continues to be great, as does their range of sizing (their stuff goes all the way up to 4XL – the only retailer I’ve ever seen do this.) The only downside is the shipping costs from the USA, so I’d recommend clubbing together with a friend on an order so it doesn’t cost mega bucks. This little number is delightfully floaty, and would look fantastic worn with some knee high suede boots. I’d also add a slim brown belt to give it a bit of shape and contrast.

Simply Be Printed Long Line Shirt Dress (£45.00)

When Simply Be get a trend right, they get it right. Their new collection contains a whole heap of 70s inspired gems (think lots of suede, lots of fringing and lots of fake fur), but this dress totally stood out to me. The bold paisley print is just fantastic, and I’m dying to wear this out and about with a giant afghan coat while pretending to be Angie Bowie.

Will you be wearing long line dresses this Autumn? Which ones are your favourites? Let me know in the comments!

Chub Tropicana

Weddings are awesome. Well, all the ones I’ve ever been to have been awesome at least. Earlier this month, my excellent friends Michael and Francesca got married at Brockwell Lido, and it was an utterly perfect day. The sun shone, the booze flowed, there was a mariachi band, my best friend and I danced in a remarkably ’emotional’ way to ‘Yes’ by McAlmont & Butler and everyone looked fantastic.

I thought I scrubbed up pretty well considering that less than twelve hours before, I was crying uncontrollably while drinking prosecco out of a pint glass (it was my last day at my old job – there were mitigating circumstances!)

DRESS: Paperdolls at Simply Be

SHOES: Primark

EARRINGS: Topshop

SUNGLASSES: Topshop

LIPSTICK: All Fired Up by MAC

Lets all take a moment to appreciate this gorgeous dress from Simply Be because I very nearly didn’t buy it. I’d originally opted to go with something from ASOS until – horror of horrors! – they sent me the wrong item. By the time they’d realised their mistake, the dress I wanted was out of stock. As it turned out, I was quite happy that ASOS screwed up, because this dress is a real stunner. The floral pattern is bright, bold and beautiful, it shows the perfect amount of cleavage, and it clings to all the right places. Plus, it’s stretchy enough to allow you to throw yourself around on a dance floor, which should be a key attribute of any good wedding outfit.

What I like most about this outfit though is that I look very visibly chubby around the middle – even though I was wearing some pretty heavy duty shape wear. A few years ago, this would have depressed me mightily (‘I spent all that money on Spanx and I don’t have a flat stomach?’) I’m not going to lie and say that I’m 100% comfortable with it, but when I look at these pictures now, I see a happy confident fat woman wearing a fantastic dress. (And, may I add, looking pretty good while doing it.) That new found appreciation of my body – as an ally I should take care of rather than a foe to be defeated – means far more to me than a bit of pudge and a double chin.

Living that 24/7 selfie life with Mr. McMc